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For the past few months, I’ve kind of considered myself as somewhat retired from playing onstage. I’ve mostly been complaining about my back and the gowing responsibilities of being a fulltime dad and SEO Specialist.
My bandmates in AcidRadius have somewhat moved on in other directions and I’m kind of OK with it.
They have Lethal Threshold to keep them busy.
I on the other hand have gone on to pursue less musical endeavors save for maintaining this website.
So, when Glenn contacted me to sing for his band, I said ok since the songs he presented were songs I was interested in. the name of the band was Agonal.
As a joke, I said, why not add Die in front of it?
And the joke stuck.
The band was renamed Die Agonal.
Pronounced “diagonal”
Anyway, we did 2 practices. In the middle of that, I got sick and lost my voice. Nearing the date of the gig, I tripled my dose of medicines and tea.
What I was barely able to achieve was get healthy enough to go up onstage and try to croak my way through the setlist.
I mean, I could do some notes but not all. I had to improvise which resulted in a performance I wasn’t too happy about.
So, is this what coming out of retirement is like?
I guess the band is done.
I did ask them if I could have another gig some time in the future to redeem myself.
But I doubt they’ll call me back to front them.
But that experience taught me one thing. I need to get my voice back. So time to modify my workout to include vocal training again.
Whether I get to sing in a band again or not doesn’t matter. I love singing and I would really love to get at least 90% back to where I used to be as a vocalist.
Seattle’s Dream Café
The first time I played at Seattle’s, I was playing with Talib Band and I didn’t have to be in front. In fact I was way in the back just happily playing rhythm guitar.
I mean I like to sing but being in front isn’t really something I love doing. Or if I did love it at one time in the past, I don’t love it now.
I love making songs.
I love playing guitar.
Maybe it’s because I’ve long suffered from stage fright. Like every time I’m onstage, the thoughts running in my head are running off stage.
Anyway… the Seattle’s Dream Café stage is nice and super elevated from the crowd. It reminds me of the first time I played atop a container van back in Tacloban City. It made me feel safe that the crowd was a bit far but it did feel a bit disconnected because you can’t really feel the energy of the crowd.
Still Seattle’s Dream Café is an excellent place to play in. the venue is spacious. Clean. Has a nice atmosphere to it.
Maybe the one gripe I have about it iss that the drummer is isolated from the rest of the band. But I understand that this was done to limit the volume of the drums which might disturb the neighbors. It could also be that there is going to be a massive bleed into the mics if the drummer wasn’t in a separate booth.
The food is great.
The bands are provided food and well taken care of by the owner.
I know that I’ll say yes to every chance I get to play there.
What Was It Like to Get Back Onstage After Being Away for So Long?
Being onstage feels natural to me. It’s something I’ve gotten used to after being in bands for decades.
This time felt a little different.
I was scared witless because my voice wasn’t up to snuff and I knew I’d be very limited.
I did have the choice to cancel but out of respect for my bandmates, decided not to. I’ll just have to power through.
I’d been wearing scarves for the past few days to protect my throught from the cold. i took countless cough medications prior to the gig but I still came up short.
It seemed like there were signs everywhere telling me to stay in retirement. The weather, my health, my additional responsibilities… so many signs… but I ignored them all simply because I believe that a band isn’t just one person and the decisions one makes affects other people.
In the End…
I’m happy I got to get back onstage again after so long.
I’m just sad that the performance wasn’t something I’d like to be remembered by.
Maybe my life in music is that of a writer and not necessarily that of an onstage performer.
Die Agonal Set List
Diary of Jane – Breaking Benjamin
Keep the Dog at Bay – Seether
Black – Sevendust
Numb – MacGlocky
Careless Whisper – Seether
Until the World Goes Cold – Trivium
